Small business. Really small.

Dearest Tacoma consumers,

I used to think small business owners were motivated by the need for creative freedom in their professions, the desire for independence, or the frustrations with management working for other companies…

The older I get, the more I become certain that most small business entrepreneurs in Tacoma are under-educated, lazy, and too incompetent to hold post at any decent jobs working for someone else. I’ve established a translation key that might help you understand these people better. On the left, you’ll find the word people might think of when describing a small business entrepreneur near them. On the right, my translation, stating what’s often at work instead. Ready? Okay.

Creative ———-> Odd
Independent ———-> Not accountable to anyone for anything
Risk taker ———-> Lacking other sound options
Driven to succeed ———-> In need of a paycheck
Good Business Person ———-> Manages to stay self-employed
Different ———-> Kinda fucked up

Now that you’ve seen the wizard behind the curtain, let’s go for an example. Nick -N- Willy’s Pizza in the Proctor District was full of incompetency, top to bottom. How did they get a franchise up and running without any training on how to make pizzas, how to use the cash register, or how to deal with customers? It’s people like this that bring down the low success rate for small businesses in this region.

When done right, small business can be terrific. But there’s NO FREE LUNCH.

Nick -n- Willy’s Pizza

2602 North Proctor
Tacoma, WA
(253) 444-3060

The anticipation was killing me. The time was finally here to make my inaugural voyage to Nick -N- Willy’s Pizza. In all ways, I was ready.Too bad Nick -N- Willy’s was not. I won’t get into the details at this time, as this was merely their 3rd day in bidness. Everything that could go wrong went wrong tonight.

I will return in the not-so-distant future for a mulligan visit. The gloves will be off, and I will check my politically correct at the door. I’m expecting perfect next time. Anything less would be uncivilized.

Now open at the corner of 26th & Proctor, Nick-n-Willy’s offers take & bake AND cooked pizzas, salads, and dessert items. Notable pizza ingredients: Pesto w/ pine nuts sauce, feta, seasoned beef, fresh spinach, mandarin oranges, fresh chopped cilantro, smoked bacon andmany others. Family size signature pizzas go for $16.99 and personal pizzas are $5.99. Please give it a try and let me know how it goes.