HI, YOU’VE REACHED THE NEWLY CONJOINED SEARCH MONSTER OF MICROSOFT AND YAHOO, FEATURING AMAZING DAILY PHOTOGRAPHY, AND A VARIETY OF EDUCATIONAL CONTENT TO COMPLEMENT OUR TRADITIONAL WEB SEARCH FUNCTION. WE WILL WORK FROM A COUPLE DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES, AND MAYBE EVEN PROVIDE SEARCH RESULTS THAT CHANGE REGULARLY AFTER INTERACTING WITH USERS TO FIND OUT WHAT THEY ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IN SEARCH RESULT PAGES! PLEASE LEAVE YOUR MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE……… BING!!!
“Hey, Google here… We’re not happy about this at all. It looks like we should have focused on improving our look, our search algorithm and our online advertising program a long time ago. At the very least, we could have taken a few more bong hits, watched Star Wars a few more times and just bought Yahoo ourselves. Unfortunately, we’ve been super busy with our head up our ass creating a million new things for which many people could certainly care less. What do we do now?? Photos are cool, right? Hey, have you seen the truly lame ground photos we’ve taken of practically every street in the world? That’s almost cool, right?”
Nice. I think you said it pretty well. I do like the Bing but I think MS and Yahoo have they’re work cut out for them. Google became a verb for crying out loud and I can’t help but think they have lots up they’re sleeve. Besides I do like the global, open source approach that Google has.
You dirty, dirty man.
Speaking of sleeves, I bet Microsoft’s are stocked with tricks of their own. They’ve actually been working on their search quite a lot while Google has not. Google has been like, “hey everybody, GOOGLE stuff! Hahahahaha!” This has been going on for years, IMO. Their focus has gone everywhere but the little thing known as google.com and you can blame it on nothing but mismanagement and complacence. Fine, go open source like the San Francisco 1982 club scene, but please do not:
(a) come crying to me when there are negative repercussions
(b) expect google to dominate search much longer without actually putting forth substantial efforts in the direction of search.
P.S. Bing, if you’re listening, please stop saying “decision engine” and then I think we hit cruise control for a couple weeks. Let the images speak for themselves (e.g. today’s French Alps).
Google is simply a tax on the internet. They don’t make money from products, they simply ‘tax’ every company that does business online. Their free services drive other providers out of business. Someone should give online advertising away for free to give google a taste of their own medicine.